Laugh at the Internet

Because the internet is so funny, and then sometimes it's just ridiculous.

72,732 notes

drinklust:

once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”

(Source: drinklust, via earlyreturns)

603,367 notes

manybodies:

lightspeedsound:

lunapics:

theshells:

I can’t stop laughing at Harry running the fuck awaythe boy who lived ladies and gentlemen.

….You realize, of course, that Hermione Granger lit a teacher on fire when she was eleven, and kept a person alive in a jar for a year when she was fourteen, and studies dark and forbidden magics for kicks, and is one of the brightest and strongest witches of her era. If she came at me, even wandless, I would aparate to Neptune to get away from her.

Hermione Granger also: 

  • punched Draco Malfoy in the nose for being an idiot 
  • purposefully performed a confundus charm on whatshsface WHILE HE WAS FLYING just so Ron would win (omfg that is so fucking dangerous) 
  • literally pulled a fucking Bourne Identity on her parents and managed to set them up in fucking Australia (jesus christ she literally made it so that she NEVER EXISTED wtf that’s so fucking 007)
  • Convinced the Ministry of Magic to give her an incredibly dangerous and volatile device that allowed her to ALTER TIMELINES COMPLETELY (just because she was so smart, literally, that is the reason, her “potential”) 
  • Has enough basic survival skills and badass magic to literally disappear to the middle of nowhere and flourish AND figure out Voldemort’s plot with Harry 
  • Hermione also figures out not only what Voldemort’s plan is, but generally how to beat it, WAY BEFORE VOLDEMORT EVER DOES. Why? because she is just that much smarter and better at magic than everybody else

in conclusion: Voldemort wishes he could be as awesome as Hermione, that’s why he wants to kill her so bad. 

Can we rehave this series with hermione as the protagonist. 

(Source: fallforwatsonmoved, via falling-updown)

7 notes

0x52-0x48:

I think I’m going to have to change the way I talk friends into flying out to visit me. Before, it was all “food! wine! art! scenery!” Now it will be, “Seattle has a really freakishly high concentration of attractive young men and I don’t understand it but you should come appreciate it anyway.” a-killerqueen seasandseances

I mean, both work for me tbh. Also I’m so so excited to see you :)